“Silence of the Night” by Syayid


Silence of the Night

The time I feel now is the one that is the most silent one

I can’t sleep, even though,

I felt sleepy in my sight

I woke up and saw the watch laying lazily on my desk

Its click makes sound, tik tik tik…, as if it speaks to me saying,

“It is three and half in the morning. You should sleep…”

I whisper in my own solitude…

Do you know what I hear at this time?

Silence, a really, really moment of silence,

The sounds of the night speaks to my ear

Singing as if I am listening to the voices of thousands of fairies and angels in this dark-blue sky

And the stars that hide shyly in their wisdom

Far away over there, asking me to come to their place and dance with them

I look at the deer outside, eating the grass, in its peaceful smile,

But, I know I wake up for no reason

I do feel the crowd coming to my mind at this kind of time

Listening to the silence

Wiping all miserable words people say

Erasing all valueless of crowd, hypocrisies, money, and prestige

Friendship that is only superficial

Friendship that is only made through heart and pure care?

Silence has spoken all the truth

to me, in the way that I feel as if I am a holy man, but, no, am I not?

Silence speaks in the way, telling me

of all lies hiding in the trees

of all sounds of having-fun young men out there, spending the night with someone new everyday

And,

In this silence,

I whisper in the deepest wish

Beyond what I feel, I pray…

Please help, and make people I love, happy

for they are the place where my happiness is in

Please let the soul of everyone as in spring

for they are the lights when all-stars are in deem way

The world is chaotic,

but only love and sincere submission to Allah SWT,

make the silence as the songs of the fairies.

 

——- Syayid Sandi Sukandi

Edwardsville, the United States, 3:45 am, Sunday, Dec 4, 2011

Never know how that could be


April 28, 2009 at 11:33am

 

It was such a nice warmest day I had in the yard

she was there, looking at the blue little sweet smell flower

In a second, she stares at me as if she is so close in the eye

BUt, again, I was just as silent as dodo

 

Could I know that she feels my heart

Yeah, nobody knows that she kills me with the knife in her heart

So pain

So dark

So yellow in the mud

I am dying and it’s all gone

 

But, someone came and smiled

Then, the dark disappear as such a rainbow in the bird nest

so beautiful

But, again, I should have not known that person

Cause it broke my heart all apart

When I know that I was just a doll for the person

 

Lovely blue beach, Padang, Indonesia

All I need is Love


Whispering in a blue beach near the window

I see people laughing freely

Feeling as if no tears to be kept

Hoping that life run well as a shining moon

 

Down in the park,

there is a lonely boy sitting in the bench

We feel like we are the same

Lonely

 

As I come near him

He cries

“All I need is a Love”, he said

I cry 

 

“Where is you mom and dad?”, I ask

“They are busy with their own. I am left alone”

When I look at into his eyes

I feel an angle there, waiting to be touched

 

Days and days pass

We are getting closer

Now I know, love can turn to everyone

Even to someone we think only as a friend

 

I have a love now

Love of a young boy

And I am his biggest brother

Till he finds his parents again

To go far away left me alone

 

And the moon is shining so blue

While I am here, waiting for someone new to come

 

To touch me a love

To warm with a love

Love

 

 

(My bedrooom, before going to work in the morning, 2009)

Smiling in the Morning Whisper (A poem)


>As I opened these eyes to see the darkness
I barely couldn’t sleep well that night
I was trying to look out from the window
to see the silent of the night


That moment,
the stars were standing prettily above
smiling and dancing one another
beautifully…


On the left side of the stars
there was the moon
standing lonely surrounded by the stars
on the dark night in the sky
his face was so pale and blue
as the king of all dreams or all nights


And then,
I was searching for the warm side of the night
it was barely nowhere, but…
ever since I put these hands on this chest
there was a melody, 
of the every beat of this heart
it speaks as the calm and peace sound of a lake
saying, “I am the moon”


It was such a pain to love
for never expecting to be loved
It shines lonely in the night
as the moon that hides in the dark cloud
feeling so shy…


When all the stars and the sky are silent
there was only a smile
smiling in the morning whisper
to welcome the sun, 
restoring all the pain and sorrow
oh, morning whisper
and
I am smiling into the sun…

(Syayid Sandi Sukandi, March 6, 2011, 19.30 WIB, after having dinner with my family)
I wrote this poem right after searching this book: Love and Friendship in Google

The Sigh of the Desert (A Poem)


>For a moment, that happened
No warm smile that touches the sky
So cold and blue
Feeling like I was in the middle of a desert
So dry


I turned my sight to that path
trying to understand, 
but there was a feeling of guilty inside me
or it was only an illusion?
I saw that rain, but, my skin touched nothing
all were as if the frightening hallucination
of the time in a darkest silent night


I felt down on a river that was so heavenly
but, 
the more I swam into it, the more
the water felt like millions of  nails
they broke my skin slowly till bleeding
and I was almost died for that painful struggling


I waved my hand to the empty air
there was nothing
so empty
is it the feeling of real but does not exist?
I saw that shadow of mine in that surface of cold river
it was looking like it was imagining something
reflecting my own face with no precise details 
as I had in mine
whose face that was?


At last,
I would then live this desert
will there be a rain falling for it?
will the rain turn it into the sweet memories in children’s’ books?
or, it would be the saddest story again as it was always?
will it be a place where all my bones are left unnoticed and perish by the times?
leaving the worse story over that broken window? 
all remain unanswerable
long I had seen that face
the face of the beautiful moon 
smiling like a peace of love
waving its hand to me and said, “please, come here..”


and,
after all these feelings,
I sit down into the hot sand of the desert,
and I knew
that shadow would always be as mine


ah, shadow
wish you always be here
accompanying the faces in the desert
for the time I would be gone
far away no return


(Syayid Sandi Sukandi, February 23, 2011. A 410, looking at my students doing their
final examination)