I started the day with an empty eyes in the morning. My bed room was felt like the same old styles and never been changed. The furniture and all things in it. Then, I walked in a glimpse to the mirror and saw my face. The same face. The different was only that I was getting older. What was I felt was so intense and I did not have to think about the year or even any of its celebration. Yeah, the 2010 year.
All days are just the same.
“Morning, mom,” I said to her, a women who have been accompanying me all these years. She really knew and saw her son. I am glad to have her as my mother.
“Do you wanna have the same omelet or a new lontong from outside?”, she asked me.
“I would prefer a fried rice, please. Let me cook it for this time. May I?”
“Well, why not? But, I have cooked the omelet for you, dear son”
“I will add it to the rice, then”
“Oke, make yourself good”, then she left me lonely at the kitchen.
While I was in the kitchen, I was wondering and imagining my life. What kind of life that Iwas trying to cope with. I know that I did not have any perfect kind of things to be proud of. My parents were not even rich. They just wanted the best for their child. They wanted me to be better than them. Suddenly, my mind was driven to bad scenes of our life. Being poor, losing some money for a living and selling things to get some money. Things like that were always hunting my mind. But, what could I do with that? Just forget and pretend to myself as if they were just illusion?
The fried rice was finished and I started to eat it, with the cooked omelet by my mother. And, I finished eating all of them with a glass of tea. I looked at the calendar, it was January 1, 2010. What a great new day to start the day. I guessed.
That shining morning, I went for a lonely walk to a Padang beach. The beach was the only favorite spot I had ever visited, until now. The beach had its mystery and untouchable meanings. It was like that it was speaking to me.
The wind blew over my body and I could feel the ease sea touch and the smell of the salt. So wonderful.
I looked at the wide open sea, I remember when the day of the terrible earthquake happened. It was in September 30, 2009. Thousands of people were dead because of it. Whose fault? God had his own desire to make this nature as he wanted. I was only a human. What could I do? Saving those living people with my own had was so great, but, I coudn’t. I just couldn’t. I was a poor guy.
The sun was getting hotter and it was at noon. The beach was getting warmer too. I did not want to go. No, I changed my mind. I took a walk to follow all the paths found in the shore of Padang beach. I saw some little children playing with the sand and they built a small castle. Just like my younger times. Then, the wace came. It destroyed the castle. The kids were still laughing, showing to me that they were all so joyful. Doesn’t care for what they were living for. Only a fun.
My mind was keeping me to think about a thing I did not understand. What would I want to get for this year? I was asking to myself and I said, “I want a perfect life. And, I want a better life as the other people get it”. Several minutes later I though the statement was so stupid. Would I make it possible only by dreaming it? Would it be possible?
I took a stone and then throwed it to the open sea. It flewed near. Later, it sank, like a dead man couldn’t swim. I stood still watching and communicating with the sound of the sea. “I am nobody but myself”, I said confidently. No sound. “I am somebody and I know that I can be like that”, I said louder. A bird made a sound in a tree. Would it be a sign that I could be somebody? That would be mean, “Yes, you can.” “Thanks a little charming bird”. I walked again and reached the mosque, Babussalam. I took a Dzuhur prayer and thanked God for all things that I had got in my life. Really thanked him for his love and tenderness in and to me.
My foot kept walking after the prayer. They reached the home. I saw my mother was talking to our neighbor, Miss Taci. That old women had just arrived from Mecca, doing her Hajj. She begged for sorry to us to be accepted as what she did in the past was a miserable attitude. Seeing this thing, I never realize that life itself presents various scenes of pictures of life and the color of their outlook.
As a growing up young man, there were many things that I should have to know all about life. If I reflected all things that I had been passing through all the years, there were many pains and happiness felt. All of that things had shaped me to be as who I am now.
I had been losing a younger brother, Rahmat, who was died because of Mosquito’s bites, and amazingly, the nature provided me with one younger brother and one younger sister as the replacement of the passed-away little brother. Then, the problem of financial crisis at home. Nobody knew that my family and I had to survive from it. We did it and we still, sometimes, faced the same case. It was like living this life in an ups and downs mode. However, no matter difficult the time was, togetherness in my family was always be the glorious side that I was, am and will always be happy and proud to have.
When I took my mind off from the bed, I was thinking about the facts speaking to me out there. Life seemed to be ridiculous in several aspects. What else than it could be if seeing poor people living worsely was like an everyday news channel in a dining room. There was a help, but, the help was gone as the wind smoothly touched m,y skin. Three months later, the help was announced and the poor people got a tax for it. The rich would always be the rich. Sharing was meant to be buying other people’s attention and getting a pride as a socialist person. Artists were singing glamorously but the poor people were still poor ones. The rich said, “They don’t have a choice. They have to fight like what we do now”. But, the point is, in what way they could survive if not from getting a helping hand? I guess that I believed that nobody could live alone.
It was like seeing thousand of TV’s faces in front of you. You could see happiness, and in the same time, there was sadness showed. Many kinds of pictures of life had presented a great idea for a novel or a story. When it had finished, then what? Poor people were still around. “We can’t help them. It is a regulation to catch the people on the street, especially the bitch”. The same things happened and happened again. One was captured, the other one was released. It won’t make any difference.
The adventure and the traveling of mind was finally ended when I looked up into the stars in the night. They were all wonderful. The sun and the stars were actually the same but they were different in terms of their distance to the earth. I was imagining they could speak to me and said, “Hi!”. They couldn’t. While listening to the soothing music of Kenny G’s, I was wondering what the 2010 year would be. Would it be full of happiness or remained the same as the previous years? Nobody knew, especially me. Then, I figured out one single sentence for this year, “Shaving will clean your face”. That means that I do not have to do things that I do not like. I have to find things on my own. Sometimes, we know the best for ourselves, but, sometimes, we don’t and people do.
Finally, I had to choose my single word as the motivational words for the year of 2010. “Do good, be good, get good and end good”. Just all the good things that I want.
Padang, January 1, 2010.
My family, I love you so much. Robby and Rina, I hope you can grow better than I do. Love you all.